Goose Rant

I wrote this several years ago, seems a fitting topic for blogging.

I walk a mile around a park near my house every morning. The park is inhabited with a large flock of Canadian Geese. These birds are the most vile creatures imaginable. They crap all over the place, the grass, the benches, the walking path. Everywhere. The funny thing is that like most parks there is an ordinance mandating that you have to pick up your dog poop when you walk your dog. They even have plastic bag dispensers at the entrances to the park.

It is funny to notice all these dog owners walking their dogs around the park carrying these little sacks of dog poop - like restaurant doggie bags. It's a doggie bag alright, but it’s not all that tasty. As we walk the park, carrying our own little pet prize bag; we have to tread carefully to avoid the unrestricted quantity of Goose crap that is all over the path! When I am walking and I approach an area of the flock (there have been baby geese as of late), the vile repugnant creatures actually hiss at you like snakes flap their wings, and assuming an attack stance. Hey, it’s MY park you filthy flying rats!

The whole problem with these things is that the people in this area wouldn't harm one. There must be few natural predators. The disgusting things have absolutely NO FEAR of humans! If they are in the road, cars stop and wait and wait and wait for them. I on the other hand rev my engine and honk my horn wildly and creep into their midst. I'm not trying to kill them, but if one ended up under my tire, too bad.

I hate these f-ing things.